STUPID COLD!
Published July 24, 2010
So I’m fighting a bad cold, sore throat, and a nasty round of laryngitis. In the middle of summer!
I’m pathetic.
Between the wheezing, snorting, coughing, sputtering, and dripping I’m wondering how to get the voice jobs done that are due on Monday. I wonder if I record the spots and then speed them up if I’ll sound normal?
Nah, probably not.
And the advice…oh, the advice one gets when one is sick like this!
“Try a spoonful of kerosene in hot tea.” WHAT??? Isn’t that like deadly or something?
“Grapefruit Seed Extract.” Check. I think that’s in the second canister from the left. The big one. Doesn’t everyone keep a bushel of that stuff around?
“Dip your tongue in Scotch. Don’t drink it. Just hold your tongue in it.” Yeah. Right.
“Slather your chest in Vicks, then wrap a towel around your chest.” Slather? You want me to slather in goop?
“Go to a sauna and sweat it out.” Yeah, that oughta do it. The other people are gonna love a wheezing, sweaty, naked fat guy in there with them.
“Just ignore it. It’s mostly mental anyway.” Really? Wonder what the client will think when he gets his voiceover back: “You can..sniff..shcrub and shcrub…cough..sneeze…sniff..and shtill not geth…drip…drip…thosh shtains out…hack, hack.”
No. I think I’ll just suffer this one through. Let it run it’s course. Enjoy my miserability. I know it’s not a word. But it should be.
Because if there is anyone who has the ability to be miserable when he’s sick, it’s me.
Just ask my wife.